This past Wednesday was my first day back at work. I hadn't been there for four and a half months. Three of those months were spent cuddled up to M day in and day out. The first day was tough for both of us. She cried most of the day at my grandma's house. I walked into a crazy situation having been gone for so long. I only have two fifteen minute breaks to pump which stinks. It just didn't go well. Nothing was good. I went home so defeated and sad. The whole day I just felt like such a huge part of me was missing. Like I left my arm at home.
That night I did a lot of thinking about what would be best for Molly and I as far as her care. The plan was for her to go to my grandma and grandpa's each day. One I hated her being so far away and two I hated dragging our whole house there. I realized that I really wanted her to go to the center I work in. My preschool class would be right across the hall from her room. I loved her teachers and new them personally. I work there so I know it's a good program with a lot of benefit. I could see her throughout the day. The biggest bonus is what better break than to nurse my daughter? So I was set that I would get her in.
We all sat down and talked about it that Thursday. My grandparents understood which really helped. I wanted to make sure they new it was for my own selfish reasons and not that I didn't think they could watch her.
Friday comes along and they call me and are both sick. I couldn't get ahold of my sister. I call my Director and he says to bring her in and we'll get her enrolled as quickly as possible. Luckily around 10 she was enrolled and could go back to her room. I'm so glad we made this choice. I loved seeing her. I could feel that she was near me even when I was'nt in the room. Call me a quack, but I completely believe that she could feel it too. We sat in the breastfeeding room together nursing on my breaks. I held her close and got my fix before I had to be back. It was all perfect timing, because this Tuesday is school picture day. I am way to excited about this. I have three outfits set out to chose from. I just can't make up my mind.
With M near me these next three months won't be so bad. I feel like I got my will power to work. Who knows, maybe I'll even make it longer. I know that as long as we're together no matter what is going on in life it's good.