Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Self Worth

As the mom to you girls this topic hits close to home. I will probably say these things till I'm blue in the face. Chances are you will ignore me, because after all I'm just an adult, and even worse your mom. Lets just pretend for a second that you will take note of the lessons I've learned and follow that lead. I pray that will be the case, but in reality it may won't be. So indulge me and read this over and over until you get it.

You are worth more.

When I was the age you will be when you even need this letter there was a huge media circus involving a performance at an awards show. Mrs. Spears came out and ripped off her black suit to reveal a nude sequined outfit and proceeded to dance like there was no tomorrow. It was all over the news and people were shocked. I remember being in awe. Here was this girl that threw down her innocence gauntlet and let the world know she wasn't a child. It was unfortunately inspiring and oh so cool at the time.

Fast forward to now and it seems like deja vu when yet another young girl is trying to give major shock value in an effort to reveal her new not so innocent image. Now a nude sequined outfit seems like church clothes. Maybe it's being older. Maybe it's having daughters, but it was just vulgar. It was a sad attempt at trying to be seen as what girls unfortunately see as an adult. As much as it's all over the news and parents are disgusted there are so many young girls thinking it's inspiring and so cool.

It's hard to image how in so many years some other little girl will come along and decide to "come of age." It's hard to swallow that you two will be looking at them for an idea of what a grown girl does.

 So let me tell you what a grown girl should look like. When you're grown you can take care of yourself and your own. When you're grown your mind should draw people in. Not your skimpy clothes and dancing. A grown woman shows confidence in how she carries herself, not what she lets hang out. When you're grown you don't need to make your own mistakes. You can learn from others. That's an adult. That's coming of age.

When you walk out the door with nothing on and an attitude that your looks are what you have to offer you are putting little to no value on yourself. You're saying this is free. This is yours for attention. You should walk out that door with your dignity, your brain, and the knowledge that you are worth more than a batted eye or a cheesy line. If you give off that you demand respect then you will get it. If you don't, then you know they aren't worth that time. When attention comes from your body and your looks then that attention stops once that is obtained. When attention comes from a deep mind and a big heart then that attention continues as the delve into learning who you are. They see all you have to offer. They respect you because you respect yourself.  People will take you for the value you set for yourself. It's your job to set the bar.

You can take this as a lecture from an adult, from your mom, or you can take this advice from someone who had no self worth and learned the hard way why you value who you are.