Monday, October 24, 2011

Coming Closer To God Through M

My relationship with God has been a rocky one for some time. Most of which comes from the loss of family. When my uncle died I had so much anger and resentment. How could the best person I've ever known not get to be here? It's a hard to pill to swallow. After losing my parents when I was little life just seemed unfair.

About two years ago my life really took a change. I moved home and met A. My family grew even closer to one another. Life was going in the right direction. For the first time I had this peace that I was where I was meant to be. I felt like this could have been me a long time ago if I hadn't taken a different path. I don't regret that path. It's made me who I am. When I got pregnant it really hit me hard. It made me realize how much God had looked after me in my life. In ways that I had ignored or taken for granted. With all I've been through in life and the journey I took I was still safe. Then to be given such a wonderful gift.

When that pregnancy ended early I told myself not to get angry. That I wasn't going down that path again. So I stuck close to God. I thanked him for what I'd been given and that I knew I would be given it again some day. I was. Five months later I was pregnant again. Those nine months I stuck by even closer. Praying for others and praying of thanks and prayers for M. Up until she was in my arms it was constant prayer for her arrival.

Since that day my relationship with God has changed dramatically. I see life differently. I see the world differently. It's a relationship that defines how amazing God's love is. It's a miracle that should be appreciated. Being a mom has changed me forever. I now know what unconditional love is. It's allowed me to see what is really important in my life. It's taught me to not take one second for granted, because those seconds go by so fast. It's helped me realize why life is worth living even through all of the bad. I am complete. I'm fortunate and so very blessed. God has given me the greatest gift I could ever receive and I truly believe he has those intentions for everyone whether it be a child or their dreams or something totally unexpected.

In life you have to take the good with the bad. If we didn't have the bad we wouldn't know how truly amazing the good can be.

...And this is so amazingly good.

1 comment:

  1. Such a truthful post! Absolutely love the honesty as well.