Thursday, October 24, 2013

Mom Who Doubts Herself

Don't. Of course we all do it. There isn't a mom out there who 100% of the time 100% knows she is doing the best. The thing is we can't help but to do it because in a way doubting ourselves is one of the ways we put our children first. We always want the best for them. We always want them to be ok.

Molly eats a lot of happy meals. Most of the time I'm ok with that fact. I know that she is loved, kept care of, and that I spend my days doing my best for her. Not just our little classroom or turning on her shows. I go in my evenings to do sessions. I'm tired all day because I stay up late to edit. Not just for me, but for them. Yet again I want them to have the best. I want the freedom to go do things with them. So yes. She gets happy meals, because in our busy life it happens. I tell myself the above when I'm paying for them. That and that she really likes the apples in them.

Natalie is pretty clingy. She likes me and my grandpa. Dad is alright in her book. When I had Molly I felt like who she was came a lot from attachment parenting. (now as a toddler I've kind of scratched that) So now that I have a pretty clingy baby I can't help but feel at times that because a lot of things we do don't fall under the Bs she is clingy. 

When a group of moms are talking about child rearing and of course nutrition I can sometimes start to feel bad. (don't we all?) Instead of just doubting myself though I turn it into a moment for pause. Am I being silly or should I reevaluate what I'm doing? Can I learn something from this conversation or should I know that my family isn't your family?

I know tons of moms would stop in their tracks at the statement that my kid had a happy meal this week. That's fine because their family isn't my family. I know that she is a loved, caring, and getting to be well mannered little girl. So the fact that she had chicken nuggets and fries for that dinner doesn't break me. I know better. I know as a whole she is doing great.

I know at this point in Natalie's life not everyone is jumping at the bit to watch her. That's ok. She is sweet, happy, and loved. She's not the lone clingy baby in the world and I'm going to bet that the whole lot of clingy babies aren't just formula fed and sleep in a crib. So whatever parenting choices I made before were  made because they worked for our family then. That doesn't always work for the family now.

The point I try to make is to look at the whole child. Are the happy, healthy, and loved? If they are, and they probably are, then stop doubting the one small bug in your ear telling you that you aren't doing it right. There are a million ways to do it right. Just find the way that's right for you and your family.

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