Thursday, October 17, 2013

Breastfeeding & Formula- Why No One Has It "Better"

If you check out mom blogs, forums, facebook, or heck even TV you are probably aware that there is some kind of opinion slinging battle going on between moms on how we feed our babies. Yes. How we feed our FED children. I have and always will be an advocate for breastfeeding, but thank the Lord I never persecuted those who formula feed, because guess what! After my first no issue breastfeeding experience I am now, as you know, a formula feeding mama.

The problem is a lot of moms feel judged or mistreated for their choice to breastfeed. Which does happen. There are always news stories popping up about moms being asked to leave or cover up. Which is heartbreaking, but for some reason when you scroll down to the comments it becomes not a back lash about how wrong it is, but a verbal assault on "lazy" formula feeding.

When I would sheepishly look around in a public place before feeding Molly I had no idea what my sister felt like as she mixed my nephew a bottle. I thought she had it so easy. Not lazy, but easy. Wrong. When I pull out my little formula holder and dump it into a bottle I feel like the noise echoes. In my mind everyone is looking and thinking "Omg doesn't she know breast is freaking best?!" I feel 10 times more judged as a formula feeding mom than I ever did breastfeeding. I was confident in breastfeeding. Even if a couple people felt uneasy in a restaurant.

By now I'd say most of the population knows that breast is best. I would love to know the statistic on how many moms chose to formula feed and how many didn't have that choice. Those that didn't chose are obviously aware of the benefits. Those that did I am positive heard it from their nurses, friends, strangers, TV, or of course the $25 week supply of formula. Do I think the message needs to be out there? Heck yes. Do I think it needs to be written on your can of formula you have to buy. No. I honestly don't.

At the same time while I was in a restaurant of course the bottle looked so much more convenient. When my nipples were cracked and raw of course formula seemed easy and so much less painful. When my supply would dip of course it was hard not to think she was starving when there was another option.

I got to a point where I wasn't as sad that we were formula feeding. Then we hit the "milestone" where she could hold her bottle. At first it seemed like even more of a convenience. At times it definitely is, but I can't help the sinking feeling that feedings are no longer a connection. She's on her own. She doesn't want me to help. At least at first I held her and she looked at me. We would cuddle and be still together. While it wasn't nursing it was still our time. Now since about 7 months that's been gone.

So I guess my point is breastfeeding mom you don't have it harder. Even if in the off chance some ass asks you to leave or cover up. You don't have it harder. You aren't judged more for your choice. Quit slinging insults when you feel backed into your proverbial corner. Formula feeding mom you don't have it harder. You have more than enough benefits to not feel inferior. Count the good and ignore what you are told is the bad. For all those that either have children or most likely don't have children or a vagina that judge those breastfeeding grow up. We all either have our own choice or we thankfully have choices when our ideal scenario is not optional. With either we our choosing what is BEST for OUR baby. Their should be know judgment or shame in that.

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