Sunday, April 21, 2013

The Beauty Of A Mother

When I first had Molly my grandma said to me "you are definitely a mother." I asked her why and she told me "because you are swaying back and forth and she isn't in your arms." We as mothers have an instinct in us and even subconsciously our bodies want to soothe and comfort our children.

Becoming a mother means bearing the unbearable pain of accidents, heart aches, sickness, and even punishments. Little do they know that punishing them in turn feels like such a punishment to us.

Being a mother makes women resort to a deep carnal state. I know humans are animals based on how I feel the second they are in danger or threatened. The hair on your neck stands up and just like my childhood Labrador so loyal and protective I am in a state that no person wants to cross. It's not just for our own children either. Us mothers form a group of wild dogs, bears, lioness or what have you and when any child is threatened by anything we become that carnal protector, because no women wants another women to feel what we fear ourselves.

When you have a child your life loses it's value and the value it holds to you is that it's what is keeping you with them. You wouldn't just die for your child. You would live your life in the worse pain so they would never have to feel it all. There is no hesitation. I would give my life, because my life is nothing without them.

Having a child means your heart is no longer yours. It is completely sealed within your children and surprisingly when there is more than one you grow another for them to have. It's why you keep them close. It's why the pain is too great when they get too far. It's why it's hard to breath when you think of them not being here.

Being a mother is trying to ground yourself in the fact that they must go out into the world some day and it's your job to prepare them. When all you want to do is hold on to them forever and guide each decision. I tell myself that although they will be gone one day and it will hurt. Seeing them stand on their own and live their lives on their own accord will be so rewarding.

A mother gets to truly know and understand the miracle of life. Unfortunately your partner just can't fully grasp what it's like to hold the feet of the baby that kicked your ribs in your hand. Your partner doesn't get that the fact your hand patting their bum and the recorded heart beat soothes them because of your own. Your partner doesn't get that feeling that I sacrificed my comfort and self to get you here and I would sacrifice so much more.

A mom is a vessel that carries a child from one world and into this life.

Without going into great detail one day Molly was severally constipated. She was shrieking in pain and hunched over. I knew it was right there, but she just couldn't. The pain it was causing her was heartbreaking, and I could see it on her face she needed help. So without a play by play I helped. There is only one other person in the world I would ever do that for, and her name is Natalie. While someone might gag at the stuff a mother has to do we don't think twice. When it comes to their comfort it far outweighs that of our own.

 Being a mom means you get the most amazingly heart warming satisfaction of being the person who calms in only the way a mother can.

Although we don't have a secret handshake and of course there are cliques motherhood is a club. It's doing all the above and knowing that the other women would too. It's an unspoken bond that we should give each other more credit for than judging each other's approach. It's that knowing glance when a child is in a diaper in the store. The knowing glance while they are dragging behind you with a tight grip of your hand. It's being able to zone out all the other crying kids in the restaurant, because that was your kid last week. It's how our partners think we are crazy when we ask their name and age and compliment them a million times, because we want to know about the love of your life and we want to tell you about ours. It's not being bothered by your 500 pictures of their Easter egg hunt and hoping everyone looks through our own. It's saying "yay, congrats!!!!" when you post that your child just rolled over and is accompanied by an adorable video. Really it's just an awesome understanding that doesn't really need to be said, because it's just known.

To me the greatest thing about being a women is that I get to be the mom. Despite the fact that I never go to the bathroom alone and I have to pry Molly off my leg in the shower. Despite the fact that I can count how many times Adam has woken up at night on one hand. Despite the differences in how your lives change after I still would never give up the role of a mom. There is nothing more challanging, rewarding, gross, and beautiful in this life.

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