So here I am at 149lbs and not loving how I look. Here is the thing and I know I talk a lot about the role model I want to be and that's because I strongly feel like every parent should be concerned with the role model that they are. So to add to the list of things I don't want to be. I don't want to be the type of girl that always complains about how I look. Little kids pick up on more than you think. They hear you say how fat you are. They notice you pinching and pulling at your fat and looking down on yourself in the mirror. I don't want my daughter's to be those girls so I can't be that girl.
I don't want to be super skinny. I don't want to compare myself to all the other girls and long for what they have, because so many times they hate what they have too. I want to be the best me. Curves, saggy boobs, and all. I want to be healthy and I want to be fit.
I go from thinking I need to lose weight and get in shape to thinking I'm too hard on myself and I should be happy the way I am. I tell myself I don't look like I did four years ago, but I'm not who I was four years ago. Here is the thing, those are excuses I am feeding myself to make me feel like it's ok to live and eat the way I do. The hard part is breaking through that wall and I should have no excuses. I've overcome way more difficult things in my life than losing 10lbs. So the problem is laziness and it has to stop.
I've made some big changes these past weeks. Huge for me, because I am a junk food queen. I love all sweets and fast food. I can already feel a difference, and not because I can see a difference already. I can feel a difference, and not just because I am eating better, but because I am making positive choices for myself all around.
Last Friday I started the Jillian Michael's 30 day shred. I love it! It is so easy to do every day, because it's only twenty minutes of my time. I feel it and by the end I am sweating and warn down in just those twenty minutes. Along with that I am taking her cleanse and burn supplements. It's a 14 day pill system. I am still on the cleanse and detox pills. Not sure what the difference is yet.
As far as eating I started off with the Special K challenge. Two meal replacements and two snacks with one normal meal. I was starving, and I can't do this the rest of my life. So some very health conscious and intelligent girls in my fitness group advised me that the best way to lose weight is slowly and making changes you can live with. So my new plan is to use the Special K breakfast shake and cereal in a rotation. Although the past two days I've just had a banana with all natural peanut butter because we've been sleeping in.
For lunch I am rotating these three meals. A turkey dog on natural whole wheat bread and cottage cheese. A salad with cranberries and almonds and light raspberry vinaigrette and cottage cheese. A peanut butter (smuckers all natural) and jelly sandwich with special K cracker chips.
For smack I have bananas or apples. My other options are special k cracker chips, special k pastry delights, special k granola bars, and calorie right bites chocolate chip cookies. To replace Coke I've been drinking Cherry Coke Zero. It's really not bad.
So here I am in all my glory. My goals are to continue with my healthier diet plan, but not beat myself up when I indulge every now and then. Also to keep up with my exercise. Next time I post a picture like this I hope to look a lot different! (or at least a little)