Friday, January 17, 2014

To Natalie: for your first birthday

It's so hard for me to believe that tomorrow we are all getting together to celebrate your first year. Just like it's hard for me to wrap my mind around you walking around, saying words, and your budding personality. There are so many times I look at you and wish I could just freeze time. Having you in our lives has created so many moments that I could just live in forever. I look at you and I can just see the future. See your gentle heart and excitable mind taking in the world more and more each day.

As moms we can get hung up on the milestones. We document in our little baby books the second you babble, or scoot, or get a tooth. We post about it, brag about it, and blog it when the years and half years come up. I'll admit to getting wrapped up in that with your sister. You have just taught me different. I could probably give estimates of when you started those little things, but now I know how little they matter to remember. I want to remember who you are. What makes you you. The little quarks that I just pray I'll never forget. So instead of going on about what you can do I want to just record the things about you in this first year that I never want to forget.

What sticks out to me about you is food. Your insane infatuation with food. We call you vacuum. Sure you like toys, but what you love is to cruise around looking for snacks. Anything left out or dropped that we weren't aware of. Since you could get around you have done this. Then your reaction when anyone brings out any food. You are on them in an instant. Hamming it up and begging for scraps. I swear you could eat and eat as long as we kept piling it on. It's the funniest thing.

Your wild hair. It really has a mind of it's own. It's so long in the front and just unruly. Your dark brown eyes just smile through a mop of hair. Your little grin shining. My favorite is right when you wake up and it's just in all directions. I don't think you've ever woke up crying.

You are so dramatic. I think 95% of your cries are fake tearless over the top sobs. As soon as you get what you want you turn it off immediately. My favorite is when you fold yourself in half and cry into the floor.

I hope it never goes away and I never feel like I have to remember this, but the way you look at your sister. When she is playing with you you just have this look like 'oh, me! it's me you want?!' You just get so excited to be around her. She can be so rough with you and you don't even care. I know the feeling being a little sister myself. It's so funny to see that maybe it's some universal sibling relationship. The older one is so cool and gets away with anything yet you're on thin ice with her.

Before Molly was born we got her this pink fluffy blanket. She never gave it much of a thought so it sat untouched. At some point you latched onto this blanket. As soon as you see it you get the biggest smile and just laugh. You'll reach out for it and just rub your face in it. Some times you'll get to playing with it and just throw it up in the air over and over and crawl around laughing.

When you were tiny you had such an attachment to me. You didn't want anyone else. You were even indifferent towards Adam for some time. I would hand you to someone and you would scream and cry. Then I would take you back and you would completely settle in an instant. Especially your aunt Bree. Secretly I loved it.

In the past couple weeks you have started this ridiculous fake laugh. It's hysterical. It's a deep throaty laugh and you get this crazed look on your face.

Natalie you are just the perfect fit to our family. You are so sweet and gentle. You are so different. Both of you are so different and I just love seeing it every day. Each of you your own person. You have such a sweet disposition. You are just this perfect balance in our lives. You make everything complete.

I love you so much sweet girl. I truly cherish every part of who you are. I cannot wait to see you grow and become the amazing person that I know you are. I am so excited for your life to unfold.

You have given us the most amazing year. Happy Birthday Natalie Sue.















                                     







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