Heavy Hearts

Today is a blurry numb day. As it is for most of the country. To say that the heartless shooting that occurred yesterday was a tragedy is putting it mildly. I don't think we have a word for it.

A parent's love for their child is something that you can only fully grasp when you become a parent. When you see your baby for the first time your life's meaning makes such a monumental shift. Your purpose is now to protect, love, and nurture this innocent life. I think every parent has a deep fear of the possible time where they may not be able to protect that innocent life.

It is a completely unnatural thing for a parent to outlive a child. Yet it happens every day. I can't imagine a more empty room than that of a child lost. No bigger hole left in your heart. There couldn't be a more terrible silence then the silent home that no longer has their child.

To know your child was afraid and alone. To know they wanted you, but you couldn't be there. It's gut wrenching. It just shouldn't be. It's hard to understand that this was the life plan for these beautiful children.

Every person in this country is grieving for the lives lost. My heart is just breaking for these families. It's  breaking for the survivors. I can't stop thinking about the gifts under the trees. The excitement that children wake up with every day. The little quarks and laughs that fill a home. All gone out of these parent's life. What step do you take after such a loss?

For the rest of us. Pray. These people need prayers, support, and love. What we can do is not the response of hold your children tight tonight. Hold them tight every night. Don't stress when it's the third time they've been up that night. Don't get angry when they have been crying all day. Don't let yourself be bothered when they need you over and over again. Enjoy the loud noises, messy floors, and daily grind of parenthood. Twenty families went to bed last night without the most precious thing in their lives. Twenty families are grieving for those loud noises and hassles. As much as life changes and becomes a harder thing when you have a child. The changes that come with no longer having them is beyond imaginable. I think millions of parent's have realized this yesterday.