Tonight I came home from a surprise party. You were sleeping so peacefully on the couch still dressed in your Repunzel costume dress I got you today. I've noticed since becoming a mom that your life can so easily flash before your eyes. Little moments can trigger all the other pivotal moments and store them into some emotional catalog.
I remember the day I found out you were a girl. Your dad and I were over the moon. Huge smiles plastered on our faces. The next day I drove around for awhile running errands and I had Make You Feel My Love by Bob Dylan on repeat. I would glance down at your ultrasound picture when I could. This whole life formed in mind. How you would look. How you would be. Things I looked forward to. What I would teach. In a hormonal pregnant state I cried the whole time.
I was so wrong. Not just about brown hair and brown eyes. I was so wrong.
It is so much better.
Tonight I kissed you as you slept in this make believe magical dress up dress and I realized how off I was. I cried thinking about how much I would love you, and it turns out I love you so much more. You are more than I could even dream you to be. You have changed me in ways I never knew I could be. My heart couldn't even begin to understand the hold you would have.
I hope some day if ever in doubt you can read these words and know that no matter what you feel you are more than I ever knew I could deserve.
I love you. Completely.
Breathtakingly beautiful, Elise. You put into words the language only a mothers heart can speak. <3
ReplyDelete