Tonight I held you in my bed to get you back to sleep. I laid there curled around you as you slept so still. Molly was in the living room being quiet. For the first time since you were born it felt like just us. We got to snuggle in peace. It hit me that this rarely happens. Very rarely.
That was something Molly and I got to do all the time. Every night we would go to sleep that way. Things changed after you were born. Life just became so fast pace. It almost had to in order for us to stay afloat. Everything seems to be a hurry. We have to hurry through meals, sleep, getting ready, going, being wherever, and then when they day ends it's like we all go off on our own to recoup.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for how few and far between the still times are. I'm sorry I haven't made certain things a priority despite what the day holds or despite what your sister is doing. I am sure there is a way to not let life get in the way of the most important things.
Like quiet snuggles. Peaceful bedtimes. Long drawn out meals. Baths that turn cold. Getting to the store when we get there.
I am your parent. you are my child. I am your quiet place. you are my wild.
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