Top 10 Things I Love About Breastfeeding

While nursing my daughter last night and watching that oh so cute dribble of milk run down her cheek I thought this post needed to be written. I wanted to compile a list of the things I love most about breastfeeding. My hope is for those really tough days reading this will get someone through. There are so many reasons to continue breastfeeding even with all the reasons some may give to stop. See the freezer bag half full and that will do a world of good!

1. When she latches on to my nose, knee, belly, and elbow. M knows I am her source of nutrition. My body feeds her.
2. When she looks up at me and coos or smiles while nursing.
3. No matter what is wrong there is nothing that can sooth her like nursing. Even if she just ate. No binky can surpass a quick boob.
4. When you can feel your let down while nursing. It's this feeling of the milk you make passing through you into your sweet baby to fill their belly.
5. When your baby is all over the place and their mind is moving a mile a minute it's so nice to have them still and snuggled up close like the newborn days.
6. You don't have to cart around a million bottles. You don't have to clean a million bottles. Especially if you cloth diaper. You need all the diaper bag space you can get.
7. Getting to the point when you are proud to breastfeed in public and it's not something you are nervous to do.
8. When she crawls over, motions she wants up, gets to the boob, and holds it while nursing. How much can change in a matter of months.
9.  It's the middle of the night and she stirs in her sleep. I start to nurse her and she gently drifts off.
10. The accomplishment of doing something that wasn't always comfortable, easy, and maybe even readily available. In a world that is so big on having everything right now and only doing the pleasurable, breastfeeding had lost it's place. I accomplished a goal to breastfeed. I'm not done with that goal, but I feel satisfied knowing that I can do this. That the trouble is behind us.

Losing My Grip

In a way I feel like I shouldn't be writing this. Some day I want M to read through these posts. I feel like if I didn't write this down I wouldn't be doing her justice. I want her to know that parenting is an amazing gift, but it isn't always easy. Some days are really really hard. It doesn't mean I don't love her every second of the day.

I'm sitting here writing this crying and listening to Modest Mouse while Adam cares for M in the living room. A lot has led up to me being at this point. I'm overwhelmed and tired. I'm losing my feelings of being on top of things.

Staying at home is the greatest and hardest job I've ever or will ever have. I laugh when men say how they would trade places in a heart beat. No, you would run screaming. When you can't even take you baby to the store or give them medicine without bitching, than no you would not trade places in a heart beat.

I stay at home with M and my husband goes to work at 7:00am and gets home at 7:30pm on a good night. I am a stay at home single mom it feels like. I know he "helps." I'm putting that in bitchy quotations, because by help I mean he changes her diaper before bed and sometimes I pull his teeth hard enough that he'll get up with her during the night on Friday. This has happened three times.

I can't leave M for more than a couple hours because I hoard milk in my freezer. I have to wake up with her about five times a night so my supply doesn't dip. I can't have a few drinks one night because she can't sleep well and by well I mean wake up every two hours if she's not in my bed. I can't have her spend the night somewhere because she sleeps like crap and yet again I hoard milk in my freezer. I need a break. I need some peace. I can't get it. That's how it feels. I hate to say that. It kills me to have that feeling, but it's true.

I want to scream at my husband and tell him he has no freakin' clue if he thinks he helps so much. I can't because I don't want to scream at her dad, and I don't want to scream in front of her. Really in his mind he does help so much. He does what he can when he can and the only problem is that's not much.

This all came to a head when this past week Adam has been out of town. It's been 100% me 100% of the time. He got in last night at midnight and today he was supposed to be home at 5:30. It was going to be a good day today. He left his debit card so we could go to the store. I gave M her antibiotic (a whole other can of worms I'll leave closed.) and we were on our way. I spent two hours in the store. If you have a baby you know how unholy that is. It stunk, but we did it and went up to check out. Card doesn't go through. Don't know why it just doesn't. They let me call Adam to figure it out while they hold my stuff. He doesn't answer any of his four lines or page from the front desk. He was in a meeting I find out later. I get home completely humiliated and pissed off. I go to get M her second dose of medicine and I had left it out. It needs to be refrigerated. It's late on a Friday night and it has no refills. This is the point where I break down crying while my adorable daughter plays with an empty box of tampons in the bathroom.

At this point it's 7:00pm and Adam is not home. Go figure. Which leads me here. When he walked in the door I handed her over and came back here to cry and write it out. I'm overworked, but I love my work. I need a break, but I'll keep going.

Being a mom isn't always easy. It's hard work, and you can't really understand that until you do it. Sometimes you have to throw your hands up and let your baby gum an empty box in the bathroom while you cry in the hall. Sometimes you need to hand them over and take time to yourself.

I don't claim to be perfect and I don't expect anyone else to be. Some day when you read this I hope you know how much love is in what I write. You'll have these days, and it's ok. If you weren't giving all you had to your little baby to the point it's overwhelming some days than I'd worry.

...and this is why I keep going.

Dear Molly,

I can't wrap my mind around the fact that six months have gone by. In some ways life has been on fast forward, and in others in slow motion. I've tried to savor each moment the best that I can in hopes to preserve them and make them last longer. The simple truth is that life goes by so fast and before you know it the days are years.

I never really knew what I'd grow up to be. I never really had set dreams on my career. The one thing I knew is that some day some how I would become a mom. Six months ago all my hopes and dreams came true when you were placed in my arms and I nursed you. I rubbed your hair and looked right into your eyes. The love that came to be in those first moments was something I will never be able to fully explain. My heart is tied to you. Your happiness is my happiness. Your dreams are my dreams. You so perfectly fit into my heart and my life. All of a sudden I was your mother and that meant more to me than anything ever could.

Watching you change and grow these past six months has been so fulfilling. You started rolling when you were two months old. You sat up on your own when you were four and a half. You crawled at five and half. Today you got yourself to sit up. Now you just do it over and over again. You're so strong and so smart. Your just the most impressive little creature I've ever had the pleasure of having in my life. To say we are proud of you is putting it mildly.

Even if you weren't doing these things or if you never did these things, we would be so proud of you. You exceeded all my hopes and expectations the day you were born. In my heart you will never do wrong. In my mind I have to keep you on course.

We love you. As amazing as these months have been, I can't wait to see what your life brings. I am so excited for your life, my love. With each day we see more of who you are and we love you, just the way you are.

These past six months have been a whirlwind and yet still the most peaceful months of my life. My heart is at ease even when my mind is racing with worry. The best way that I can pay you back for all that you have given me is to be the best mom that I know how to be. You deserve the world. With all my might I will give you every little bit that I can.

Love,

Mama

"For never before in story or rhyme

(not even once upon a time)

has the world ever known a you, my friend,

and it never will, not ever again."

Homemade Foods: Avocado, Banana, and Squash, Oh My!

The plan all along was to wait till M was six months and start baby led weaning. If you don't know what that is a quick summary is skipping purees and going straight to solids. It's mainly exploring the first month and getting use to foods. As M got close to five months she started sitting up on her own. (big girl) which is one of the main signs that they can start food. I pushed it out of my mind and went on just breastfeeding. Then M got the appetite of a teenage boy. So we broke down and tried organic brown rice cereal. I'm not really sure the difference, but I'm a sucker.

I've never seen a baby do so well with eating at the start. I literally put the spoon up to her mouth and she opened wide to eat. A couple days later I finally accepted that she was ready for food. I always knew plan b to baby led weaning would be making my own baby food. I also always knew that I wanted her first food to be avocado.

Avocado purees are extremely simple. There is no cooking involved. I cut mine into fourths which makes four servings for M. Then take a bowl of water and add a drip of lemon juice.

Dip each slice into the mix. This helps stop the browning. After you have dipped each slice put them  into a Ziploc bag and add the date. Pop your bag into the freezer and you are good to go. I would toss them after a month.

These are M approved! To serve put a slice in a microwave safe bowl and set to 30 seconds. Then add some breast milk or formula to get to the consistency that you want. I use less than an oz of breast milk. Take a fork, spoon, or whatever floats your boat to mash up.

Once M had the three day waiting rule I decided to move on to squash. I didn't think to take any pictures, but it's pretty easy as well. I bought one butternut squash and cut it in half. Fill a 13x9 with about an inch of water and add your squash facing down. Bake this for about 45 minutes or until you can pierce it with a fork at 350 degrees. Once it is done baking scrape it out into your mixer. I had to add about 2 oz of breast milk with it. Puree until you have reached the consistency you want. Put these in the microwave for 30 seconds to serve.

Note how it's spelled wrong. Nice.

To store these I used to ice cube trays. Each spot is about 1oz which is one serving. As they grow you may want to use to cubes. After the squash has frozen pop them out and put them in a Ziploc bag with the date. These should be used within one month. It's a good idea to add the name of your food along with the date. That way you don't get confused once you have multiple foods of the same color. A good tip my sister gave to me.

  

Today we started banana which is another easy puree with no cooking involved. I cut mine into thirds and freeze in a dated Ziploc. I would toss these after a month. 

 

I added a little breast milk to help mash and get a good consistency. Heat for thirty seconds without the peel and mash.

If you're not convinced on why you should make your own baby food here are some good thoughts. That one squash that cost a little over a dollar made 21 servings. One avocado for a little over a dollar makes four servings. One banana makes three. A jar of baby food costs a little over sixty cents and is one serving. Jar food isn't evil, but it feels good giving M fresh and frozen food. Really it isn't much work. People will act like it would so taxing, but if I believed them about everything I wouldn't be breastfeeding or cloth diapering. See for yourself and if it is something you can fit in or not. Make Sunday your mass cook day so you don't have to worry about it through the week. Whatever you choose, happy feeding!

M's Presents Are Here! (An Educational Shopping Guide)



Yay for presents!

 I've been working on M's Christmas list since she was about a week old. This comes from my addiction to online shopping and my love of Amazon wish lists. The list has changed many times. I've added, deleted, and added over again. Finally I felt I had my final draft and could go ahead and purchase. Just to let you in on how crazy I am. I have her first birthday, second Christmas, and second birthday lists started. I love to online shop.

I admit I went a little overboard on her. I hear all the time that she won't remember, and I get that. For me I feel like she needs these things. It comes from me being a teacher of the creative curriculum. Learning is play. That's the focal point. I believe that. They aren't just toys. They are tools for her to learn. I wouldn't go so crazy if it weren't that her last day of school is January 6th and she will be home with me. So I compiled a list of what M has under the tree this year. The captions are links if you find yourself needing this for you munchkin.

Alex Jr. Pop Beads

Pop beads are great for building fine motor skills. Older kids love making jewelry for you to wear. This really is a toy that will last awhile. Babies may need help at first, but once they get it you'll be wearing a pop bead necklace daily.



Melissa & Doug Fill and Spill Fish Bowl



This is a great toy for babies to fill and dump. This could fall under gross motor and fine motor skills. Fill the fish bowl with water for sensory play!



Fisher-Price Brilliant Basics Boppin' Activity Bugs

 These toys are great for learning cause and effect. They also work on fine motor skills by manipulating the nobs to work. There is a pull, push, and twist nob.

Wonderworld Peek-A-Boo Ball

I love this ball! It's great for gross motor development. This toy is great for babies starting to work on crawling. Encourage them to crawl by chasing after this cute thing. You can also roll, toss, and kick for older babies and kids.


Plaskool Explore And Grow Tumble N' Twirl

 
A great toy for many reasons! Learn cause and effect when you push and watch the balls go around. Work of gross motor skills by pushing down on the button. This toy has a little extra too. You can slide the front window open to watch the balls shoot out. This encourages babies to crawl or walk to get to them. Continuing with the gross motor theme by having to load the balls back into the toy.

Sassy Letter Links


There are so many great uses for these. Work on fine motor by linking together. Go over letter shapes for literacy. You can also use these as stencils for older children, which would be literacy and fine motor. Babies love moving there body with these! They are also great for teething.

Lamaze Musical Inch Worm

I love this little guy. M loves stuffed animals so I thought she would enjoy this toy. It has textures and a tag. If you haven't noticed tags are the cats pajamas to babies. There are also different sounds like crinkle, squeak, and jingle. If you press down on the head it plays If You're Happy and You Know it. The link has some really cute owner images!

The Muppets Green Album

I love The Muppets! I hope at some point M does too. When I heard about the Green Album I knew she had to have it. It has classic Muppet songs covered by really good bands. When it comes to music I think everyone knows about the benefits.

Eebee's Adventure Playmat and Activity House

I am way too excited about this toy. You can see by the picture all that it can do. This really is a toy that will go a long way. Use the mat for tummy time while babies explore the activities. Make it a wall for you sitter or a tunnel for your crawler. You can also make it into a playhouse or a quiet reading area to relax.

Eebee DVDs

I got three Eebee DVDs in a pack. I love these because they are activities that you do along with your baby. It's not just a movie to watch. I can't wait to do these with M. They are 6+ months.

Eebee Doll

There is no real educational value to this toy. M loves stuffed animals and I figure when she is older she would love to have a doll from the movies and playhouse. It was a good deal so I thought what's one more thing.

I hope this may help some of the shopping woes this season. Toys are such a great way for little ones to learn and explore. Some may have no value, but many can do wonders!

A Year Full Of Thankfulness

I may be alone in this, but I love Thanksgiving. It's such a great time to get together with family and celebrate without the pressure of gifts. It's the start of the holiday season and better moods. Everyone is in the holiday spirit and then we're back to blech. Not to mention I am a turkey girl and not much for ham.

I've been hearing a lot of homemade noodles. This isn't a tradition in our family, but I think it needs to start! I am a huge sap for creating traditions for M. We had so many around this time and they are so near and dear to my heart.

Reason #345 to like Thanksgiving, four day weekend. In my case five day weekend. Also, putting up the tree! A is the fluffer and I am the decorator. At this time he clears the living room so I can crank up the Christmas music which he hates.

Looking back on this year is such a trip. This time last year I was about ten weeks pregnant and trying to hold down my food. I was throwing stuff on the tree just to get it over with. Possibly crying throughout it. Now this year there is so much hope and dreams for the future. All the things I always pictured doing with M are finally happening. Buying her gifts and reading her Christmas books we always had. Seeing her take in her first Christmas tree was so amazing. We watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade together. A and I went out and bought her first ornament. You always think about how these things will be, and when they happen they are so much more than you ever thought they'd be.

It was a great day like always. It's hard to see the count dwindle down as we have lost family members over the years. Ones that have been here so long are now gone and new ones are coming up. It's such a blessing to have these two babies with us and however many more our family can get. (Just kidding, my sister and I have been rationed one more baby each by our husbands.)

A, M, & Me



Grandma & Grandpa

Grandpa & M

Sister & Brother-in-law

M & her cousin

Peace, Love, ERGO Baby

Some how I convinced A to let me have my Christmas present early this year. I already new it was the Petunia Pickle Bottom Ergo carrier. For some time I didn't feel like I wanted a buckle style carrier. I have a love for the basic old school slings and wraps. The culture behind them is just beautiful, but when A said this needed to be my last carrier I wanted to get something totally different.


Hey, Mom! Mom what are you doing?


With some research I decided on the Ergo Baby carrier. It is a buckle style that works like a mai tai carrier. There is no forward facing, which is good. M can ride on my hip or back as well. This carrier is like the Rolls Royce of carriers. It fits like a dream. The adjustments give you the perfect fit. Her weight is distributed evenly. I have no trouble wearing her for very long periods of time.

Another thing I love about the Ergo is the sleep hood. It tucks neatly away in the front pouch and is easily snapped into place once M is asleep. I would love to have this feature on my mai tai. I've also used the sleep hood during bad weather like wind and rain walking in and out of the store.

This carrier is so extremely easy to put on. If you own one then the directions will easily tell you how to put it on. I decided to make this video to show you just how easy it is to put on and how the sleep hood works. If you're looking for an easy to use, durable, and stylish carrier than your search may end here!